Have a Really Big Why in Life
When pursing financial independence it’s really hard, you need to have a really big why so when it get hard and you want to quite you will have the reason why to push through.
With a really big why the how-to’s of life get really easy and obvious.
To get to your why you have to ask why 3 times to get to the real answer
What is my big why? I want early financial independence (not because I hate work)
- Why do I want financial independence – to have choice and control in my life
- Why do I want choice and control – to work at a cause I believe in
- Why do I want to work at a cause I believe in – to work at something bigger than myself to help people
Reasons to have a really strong why:
- Your battle plan will not survive first contact with the enemy
- Life is not a straight line
- Your plan is unique to you with an unknown solution
- Life can be really hard and at times unfair, don’t be a victim – don’t ask Why me? Ask Why not me?
Strategies for developing a strong why:
- Seek out new experiences – doing the same thing hoping for different outcomes is bad idea
- Abandon your expectations – this is where disappointment lives
- Treat everyone you meet with respect – even if you do not share the same life philosophy
- Give Back – don’t be transactional you will repel everybody in your life, you will receive more in life by helping others than helping yourself
- Celebrate milestones – celebrate your past accomplishments and your future hope
- Let go of the past – this can be your undoing only of you let it, “what-ifs” are about your past, “why-to” is about the future
What’s your BIG WHY?
1. What have you done in the past that felt incredibly fulfilling?
2. When have you been at your absolute best?
3. When have you been at your absolute worst?
4. What anger’s you? or What breaks your heart?
5. Why, why and why?
|Reddit Post 1 User: m||yTwelfAccount:|
I finally realized my “why”
Many posts here urge the community to really consider their “why.” Why are you pursuing financial independence? For so long, it’s been easy for me to say, “I hate working.” But when I shared that with people in real life, I was met with confused looks. “It doesn’t seem like you hate working,” many people would respond. And it didn’t feel all the way right to me. I don’t really hate working. In my jobs, I have had opportunities to directly help people and improve their lives. I have changed systems and operations for the better. I don’t hate that.
What I hate is the performance required. I hate the charade of working 8.5 hours even when it’s not necessary. I hate that half hour that has to be unpaid because of lunch. I hate having to consider the optics of your decision to work a different schedule, take a three week vacation, or having a long lunch. I hate the endless meetings and documentation required to assure everyone you are, in fact, working. I hate the contests people have with one another on who is skipping lunch, who is coming in early and staying late, and who can’t take vacation.
It’s bullsh*it. It’s inefficient. It’s unnecessary. And so that is why I want financial independence. To free myself from bullshit.
Reddit Post 2 User: myTwelfAccount:
Funny side note – I ended up in a conversation where I had to explain this to an older woman the other day and you’d have thought I was telling her about Bigfoot or ghosts and aliens. Apparently making good money and living a fancy lifestyle is totally normal but saving the money instead so you don’t have to work- that’s just a f**king fairytale.
On the podcast we always talk about change and moving forward and to do that it usually required change and to get from where you are to where you want to be there is always a transition and its usually uncomfortable and that ok.
Transition can be a very fragile but is very critical to getting to where you want to be in life. This usually requires some kind of behavior modification that will require some form of self-discipline and new habits.
Discipline – the ability to give up immediate pleasures for long-term goals.
Habit – an acquired mode of behavior that becomes involuntary.
You use your discipline to develop habits and you develop your discipline through forced repetition.
You have a limited amounts of discipline to spend each day, so spend it wisely on the things that are important.
The Dip – you start out with enthusiasm and energy, then thigs get hard, this is the dip. You need to expect the dip anticipate it and have a solution ready to push through the dip to achieve success.
How to master Self Discipline:
- Know your weakness – we all have them
- Remove temptation – you are not as strong as you think you are
- Set goals – realistic and measureable
- Measure progress – record keeping is the key, don’t try to do this in your head
- Celebrate wins – winning is contagious
Why Transition is so hard:
- Uncharted territory – learning is the key, the older you get the harder this becomes
- Fear of failure – you are already failing small at something you are trying to correct
- Uncomfortable – our emotional brains naturally gravitate toward pleasure
How to make transition easier:
- Follow a proven plan – such as a book, youtube, podcast
- Bridge the gap – small incremental steps will keep you motivated
- Measure your progress – you need to know you are making progress in the right direction
- Expect setbacks – failure is your friend, you learn more from your mistakes, and you are probably failing at something already that’s why you are trying to make a change.
- Expect it to be hard – if it’s not hard it’s probably not worth doing.
SMS155 – You’re Not Poor You’re Broke
Poverty – is not about a lack of wealth it is about a lack of opportunity.
Broke – is about an insufficient amount of wealth for a chosen lifestyle.
The problem with not knowing the difference is you either try to solve the wrong problem or worse you become powerless to solving it.
You don’t have to be born into poverty to be poor, circumstances can be your undoing.
Relative poverty vs absolute poverty – relative poverty can be solved much easier than absolute poverty.
Canada’s poverty rate was 9.5% in 2017 (35,000,000 * 0.95= 3,325,000) defined as a family’s ability to afford a “basket of goods”.
Factors that would indicate poverty:
- Access to education
- Access to housing
- Access to savings/investing
- Access to the free market
Four simple factors can determine future poverty risk:
- Race – visible minority
- Education – no access or limited access
- Martial Status – single with no support system
- Age – a bad start leads to bad places
Factors that would indicate artificial poverty (broke not poor):
- Your situation is temporary with a known solution
- You have a safety net – family or debt
- You have options – choice could solve or improve your situation
- You have something to lose
Reasons you might be broke but think you are poor:
- You’re consumed with first world problems
- Compare yourself to others
- Don’t take ownership
- Don’t understand the Maslow Hierarchy of needs
Personal finance is 90% behavior and 10% math – this is a spectrum
We have two brain – the logical brain and the emotional brain
Your emotional brain is in charge and your logical brain is just there for support.
You can gather all the knowledge in the world but if your emotional brain is not onboard it just won’t happen.
If our emotional brain is in charge what is the problem? – We often evaluate our decisions using logic
How to you know you are making an emotional financial decision with bad logic:
- Justification mode – “It’s an investment”
- Excitement is your emotion – the logic is usually flawed
- No decision is an emotional decision – fear is a dangerous emotion
- The sacrifice is not obvious – monetary sacrifice followed by the opportunity cost
- Your decision reduces the control in your life
If you find yourself making bad or regretful decisions you may need a new approach to keep your emotions from getting the best of you.
10 Tips to help you take control of your emotions (from Psychologytoday.com):
- Power Up – be aware of your emotions
- Rewind – step back, how did I get here
- Fast Forward – play our scenarios to see where it will lead
- Zoom in – peel back the layers
- Monitor the volume – listen to your inner voice or support system
- Adjust the brightness – look at both the positive and negatives
- Press Pause – sleep on it
- Stop – it’s never too late to stop a bad decision to mitigate the damage
- Turn off – time to collect your thoughts
- Recharge – make sure you are in good mental state for decision making
Strategies for managing your emotional brain for personal finances:
- Acknowledge your emotion – know which emotions are in play, there is always at least one
- Put the problem in front of the solution – we often have a solution where no problem exists
- Use your support system – people that care about, but are not emotionally in your decision
- Write it down or say it out loud – does it still make sense
- Have a value system – avoid decisions altogether
Financial Vulnerability Evolves Through Stages of Your Life
Vulnerability: capable of being physically or emotionally wounded.
Signs you might be feeling financially vulnerable:
- Uncertainty about the future
- Lack of knowledge
We all seek financial security, however we are all susceptible to financial vulnerability
Real vs. perceived vulnerability throughout our lives.
Financial vulnerability or the elution of it will go up and down but will tend to settle where it always has been, unless you surrender to the delusion of control.
The delusion of control is the believe that we think we can control the outcome of many or even every situation we find ourselves in.
The financial vulnerability cycle
1. Identify financial vulnerably feeling
2. Put safe guard in place
3. Identify new, less damaging vulnerability, but treat it the same as the first one
4. Put safe guard in place
5. Identify new, less damaging vulnerability, but treat it the same as the previous one
6. Put safe guard in place
As you put into place measures and safe guards to minimize the feeling of vulnerability you will then focus on smaller issues seeing them as threats where they were not a threat before and the feeling of vulnerability returns.
Ask yourself this question: Would you have loved to be in the position you are now 5 years ago?
Vulnerability Through Stages of Your Life
Beginning of working career
– Job experience
– workplace skill
– networking connections
– additional financial responsibilities
– the stakes are higher
End of working career
– higher wage you are less likely to replace
– reduced productivity
– job transition is more difficult
– Investment returns
How vulnerability serves you
1. Its not something you should try to defeat, you should embrace it — it’s a built in protection
2. Exposing your vulnerability will show the world who you really are
3. Exposing your vulnerability will show you who you really are
4. If you don’t feel vulnerability you are also shutting down your positive emotions
Comparing yourself to others Financially
Life is so much simpler when you stop explaining yourself to people and just do what works for you.
Why we tend to compare ourselves to others:
1. Easy (lazy)
2. Societal pressure
4. Our Social Circles
6. Predictable outcome
7. Lack of confidence
Why you shouldn’t compare yourself to others:
1. Different resources
2. Different values
3. Different goals
4. Different support system
A Crutch is Your Enemy
How and why financial crutches happen
Its ok to reach for help but when rely on it it become a crutch
Toxic Charity: Lessons from Bob Lupton
What is a crutch:
1. Traditional: something to lean on because of an unanticipated event
2. Handout rather than and hand up
3. Limiting believe
4. Doing vs showing – look for teachers in your life
5. Decision making vs philosophies – decisions making is a developed skill
The problem with a crutch:
1. Don’t develop a resourceful toolbox
2. Have to live your life under somebody else rules
3. Guilt – financial and emotional
4. Life direction is limited
5. Limited by the limitations of your crutch – situation/career
6. Enables a false unsustainable reality
Build on top of something you have already started or get back to there basics
Our lives tend to be a contagious never ending cycle with a re-sets you need to find a time of year for a fresh start.
New years resolutions are not quite the same because you go from winter to winter where with September brings a change of season and all of your senses are engaged.
Why September represents a new beginning
1. Move from relaxation mode to productive mode
2. End of vacation season – re-start routine
3. Change of seasons – environmental and physical
4. School starts – traditional and continued learning
Areas of life for a new beginning:
2. Health – physical and mental
How to leverage a new beginning:
1. Enrol in continuing education
2. Remember the frugalness of the student lifestyle
3. Read a self help book (audiobook)
4. Subscribe to a youtube channel
5. Subscribe to a podcast
6. Join a group of like-minded people